The day after my Women’s Conference presentation I woke with the words “sing the song of redeeming love” in my head, and so I couldn’t help but share on my blog my testimony that our Father is so aware of us…so eager to aid us in all that He calls us to do. I’m trying to follow every good feeling to wherever it leads… which includes sharing the below journal entry with you.
Where do I even begin to recount the blessings and experiences of the last four months, and their culmination in the BYU Women’s Conference that I’ve just participated in? I received the request to present at the end of December. I had spent that whole month planning to overhaul my life in 2014, and had promised my Heavenly Father an increase in effort during my prayers. I just felt like I needed to get through Christmas!
Well, Heavenly Father didn’t waste any time! The Sunday after Christmas I was released from my calling as Enrichment Committee Chair and called as a Primary Teacher. Just a few days later I received a letter from my old friend Jean Hwang at Women’s Conference. And believe it or not, I could feel my Father’s hand aligning my life to hold me accountable to all my dreams and commitments. He must of known that my assignment to speak would be just what I needed to hold me accountable and that a calling in Primary would give me the opportunity to build my confidence as I practiced sharing my ideas.
And I continued to feel his enabling and sustaining power as I prepared to share my 30 minute talk on the topic of Young Motherhood: A Divine Eternal Mission. It was so much fun to see old friends and places in Provo, and even better to do it with my mother and sisters in law! When I woke to get ready early Friday morning I felt such peace! I’m not a public speaker- I hardly like to speak in a group at a baby shower- so for me to be at peace felt miraculous! As I prepared myself that morning I kept thinking words from my talk (and favorite Neal A. Maxwell quote)
“You were measured before and found equal to your task”
It wasn’t me thinking it, though. As I brushed my teeth the words came. As I put on my mascara they came again. Curling my hair. Shaving my legs. Putting on liptstick. They came time and again. It was like fear would slowly rise up within me only to be pressed down by the peace and reassurance of those words from the Spirit. In this manner we went to the first two talks of the conference, ending up at my venue, the JSB Auditorium, an hour early to listen to Brother Richard Holtzapfel.
Later on, as I was speaking, I felt jittery, but nothing unmanageable. I got behind on my slideshow, but recovered. I got out of place on my talk, but didn’t get so flustered that the problem was compounded. It wasn’t perfect, but He answered my pleas. Before speaking I had prayed, telling Him that I knew He’d given me the words, but would He please give me the power to share them. I’m actually grateful that it wasn’t perfect, because in a weird way, it helps me to know that He helped me further. Those imperfections were mine, but He gave me the peace to overcome them even in a moment of stress. He sustained me each time I felt my weakness.
I’m so grateful to to have been given this opportunity to learn, to feel lead, to feel my worth because of His awareness of my needs.
Here are a few of snaps from my iphone and others that my family snagged. If you follow me on Instagram, sorry about the repeat!
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing! You are so powerful (and cool) for speaking at one of my favorite places!